Update 8-17-09

Hello All,
Just wanted to give you a quick update and let you know how things are going. Physically, Mom is doing better than with any other surgery! She feels soreness mainly around the incision area and on her sides & right arm. She is very encouraged by the fact that she now has full range of motion without the terrible discomfort of the expanders. That is SO ENCOURAGING to me. It's great to watch her sit in her chair and move her arms in a circle with a surprised look on her face that it doesn't hurt like it did before.

We had a bit of a scare with her hearth arrhythmia yesterday morning and almost ended up in the emergency room. We were almost out the door when her heart medicine must have finally kicked in and her heart finally righted itself. She said that her hearth rhythm hadn't been that good in 3 weeks! We all have come to the conclusion that the heavy pain medication was at fault for the scare in the night she had on Saturday. Her heart did a big thump, then nothing for a bit afterwards. She thought it wasn't going to kick back in again, but thankfully (understatement) it did. She has decided that she'll add the name of that pain medication to her 'Allergies' list at the hospital so she doesn't have a negative reaction from it again.

Emotionally, she is definitely making progress. As I mentioned in the blog from our way home, she has had a difficult time with the outcome of the surgery. Her doctor had been very honest from the beginning about what he would be able to do for her surgically, but she really hoped he was being modest with his abilities. Unfortunately, there's nothing more they can really do with the types of implants that are approved by the FDA at this time for reconstruction. In the years to come, there are some exciting new types of implants the FDA is looking at for breast reconstruction, so we will look forward to see what happens.

I know she's going to be just fine, but it will definitely take some time. I think every bit of what she's going through is completely normal. She keeps apologizing to me for having to see her go through this, but I keep telling her that I'm doing just fine. I really am! I know she needs to feel all of these emotions and get 'em out! Of course it's hard to see her suffer, but I know she's going to be just fine. :)

We go back to the Doctor on Wednesday for a checkup. Right now, Mom is hoping she can 'Keep it together' for the appointment. She has yet to shed a tear at the City of Hope. I keep reiterating to her that their focus is treating 'the whole person' and that if she feels like crying...she should cry! They're not treating robots, for heavens sake. They need to know how everything affects her, that way they can help her get through this-and learn how to help their other patients in the future.

I'll let you know how it goes! :)

A really difficult drive home

Hello Everyone. We just got home at about 5pm. It was a really difficult drive home. I don't really even know how to convey the anguish my Mom is going through right now. She is terribly unhappy with the results of her surgery. She sobbed most of the way home. My Dad and I basically sat there silent the whole way home while she expressed all of her feelings. There was nothing we could even say. The implants don't project as much as she'd hoped for, and the doctor was very clear about not getting her hopes up, but we all really hoped he was just being modest about what he was able to do. In reality, he was just being completely truthful.

Mom is going to need some time to get through this. I know how hard this is going to be, but she wants some time to work her way through this sadness. She doesn't feel like she will be able to see anyone for quite some time. I know how much you all love her and some of you may even feel like communicating so many things to her personally... but for now, how 'bout we try something that will allow her to heal at her own pace. If you feel like doing so, how about sending a simple message to her (thelizardranch@yahoo.com, text or FaceBook) that simply says, "I love you." I think that says exactly what she needs to hear right now. As much as I tried offering consolation to her, she is having a hard time seeing any aspects of this in a positive light. I think a simple, "I love you" would express to her exactly that. She knows that we all love her for who she is, and that we're all here for her when she needs us. As these "I love you" messages come in, whether it's by email, text, FaceBook or blog comments - I will read her each and every one of them when it's a good time for her.

Thanks so much, everyone. I'm looking forward to a time when she finally feels like herself again and all this is behind her.

She still hasn't been released yet. Evidently her heart started beating erratically so they sent her in for an EKG. The Dr is checking out the EKG right now and they think everything will be just fine and she'll still get to come home today. I'll know more soon.

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Dad got to go in

Dad got to go in to see her. They only allow one person in recovery with the patient. grrrrrr.

Mom is out of surgery. It took much longer than anticipated but he feels it went well. He decided to go with the saline implant instead of silicone (Mom requested silicone because she read about some benefits) because the saline was a better fit for her...plus he felt the benefits wouldn't be noticeable and were not as important compared to the fact the saline requires no MRI every 3 years plus additional maintenance. We should be able to see her in 30 minutes or so.

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She's still in surgery. The Dr called the receptionist to have her let us know that it will be about another hour.

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The just took Mom in

The just took Mom in for surgery Dad said her spirits were very high. She was even laughing with the nurses.